


Dawn Of A New Day

by PleaseBenjamin



Category: BEN Drowned
Genre: A ben drowned, Gen, Memory of what could've been, Originally Posted on Tumblr
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:22:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 2,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29536083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PleaseBenjamin/pseuds/PleaseBenjamin
Summary: Of what could have been





	1. Fragment 17

Rather he feels tired on this particular day. It's a rather busy week, after all. As exams have been closing in, all the students are in complete chaos, at least the older kids are. He hasn't experienced actual school before, his parents having him homeschooled and isolated. It's why he sometimes doesn't know how to interact with people, why he finds solace in playing games instead.

In his mind, nothing can top Legend of Zelda. Especially Majora's Mask. It has a small special place in his heart, alongside Twilight Forest. Ben- Vicsen, he reminds himself, has been having fun, in his opinion. He didn't expect the school to be this fun, he likes talking to other kids. Though for some reason, they always, always look at him weirdly. As though he's not supposed to act like this. Maybe that's exactly it?

He hums to himself, from what Benja- Vicsen has observed, he seems to be someone quiet. But quiet isn't fun, he likes asking questions, knowing about stuff. The other kids aren't particularly, well, pleased at first, but they come to him to play with him sometimes!

The thought makes him happy, he's actually making friends! He doesn't like it when they sometimes hit him too hard but maybe it's a sign that they like him? He doesn't really know, it hurts, but he's a little scared of telling anyone. Maybe they won't like him anymore. He doesn't want that, of course not.

He has also taken to himself that he always has the game cartridge on his person. The uncomfortable feeling of being too far from it unsettles him, thus he makes it a very important rule as to never lose it. He doesn't know what would happen if so, and he's not willing to risk finding out. Of course, Benjamin is a good boy, a smart boy. He's smart enough to know this.


	2. Fragment 12

The boy wiggles as another air bubble escape his lips. It's painful, I can't breathe, he thought to himself as he opened his mouth wider, another air bubble rose up.

His throat opened to inhale air, but his lungs didn't expand. Instead, he feels like throwing up. The pressure on his lungs slowly being squeezed by the growing weight.

Even if he wants to cough, only air escapes him. The choking sensation didn't change. Or rather he just can't breathe. It hurts, please I don't know what's going on-

He kicks his legs, what seems like to be the only thing not submerging with him as of now.

Something coiled around his body, a persistent force that he cannot escape from. His body shakes heavily, trying to loosen it, anything! He needs air, his chest is hurting, please someone-

A splashing sound echoed in the distance, at this moment a momentary realization hits him. He's sinking, drowning. It absolutely terrifies him. His panicked mind filling him with absolute irrationality, dragging him deeper and deeper down as though stabbing down a blade that is reality.

Cold bites pierced his skin like the needles shots that he got months prior. He cried a bit, but his mother cheered him up. It's alright, Benjamin, she always says to him. You're a brave boy.

But he is anything but that. He's scared. He wants to go home, back to his mother. Back to father. He promised to him he'll do good, promise not to talk back after last time, please take him back-

He tries to call father out, but he only swallows more water in the process. He can feel his stomach slowly getting even more bloated with how much water that he has inhaled. It feels like it's going to explode.

The edges of his vision get more and more blurry as white spots appear. He idly notices, as his body hits the floor of the river, his copy of his favorite game nonchalantly floating right in front of him.

The mask eerily staring straight into his eyes, as though it is reading exactly what kind of person he is.

He prays to God, one last time, as his consciousness slowly fades out bit by bit. His final memory of it, a distant, echoing laughter. Something he is familiar with. He stops struggling, and everything is silent.


	3. Fragment 43

His eye is starting to get itchier and itchier. The strong temptation to rub it is screaming at the back of his mind, his hand twitching, longing to touch the weeping orb. Lemonade has explicitly told him to not even graze it, but it's so so hard, it's starting to hurt. His left eye is tearing up all by itself, and it is annoying.

Benjamin can't do anything about it. Though, he's more concerned over the fact that Lemonade herself seemed to be hurt. He sighs, feeling useless, he can't help the situation right now, and the best course is to take both of them home, for the time being, Lemonade back to her abode, and him back to his parents. Fumbling with his cartridge, he follows Lemonade's lead back to the city.

It still feels weird, when he responds now so quickly to Jason instead of his actual name. It wasn't the same with Vicsen or Marvin so why is it different with Jason?

He doesn't know, he concluded, it's best to learn more about this abnormality.


	4. Fragment 14

To start off, he doesn't know what he's doing. He suddenly woke up, somewhere in a room. Everything is blurry and his head felt dizzy, like that one time he's really sick and he has to take the really bitter tablets that made him all sleepy and woozy. It always feels hard waking up after that. Just ever-lasting tiredness.

When everything focuses, he slowly lifts his head and looks around the room. It's a dark room, with only one light source coming from a direction beside him. And even then, it's slightly blocked but what looks like a human figure.

Muffled distant familiar sound slowly surfaces under the constant ringing that plagues his ears. Of the mechanical voice of Tatl saying her scripted dialog, the off-tone theme of the Southern Swamp, it's all slowly dragging him back to reality.

He's in a room, to be specific, a bedroom. Littered hoodies and what seems to be notebooks cover some of the floors, alongside what looks to be stacked plates? All in all, it's messy. But he doesn't mind that.

It feels weird, watching this person play the oh-so-familiar game. It makes him smile, it makes him giddy, he can't control this feeling, but it somehow feels right. Watching this person playing _his_ game.

There are so many questions that he wants to ask, so many answers that he wants to hear, but he's afraid of disturbing him.

His arms wrap around the person's shoulder, and his body pressing against their back. He doesn't know when he got this close, he doesn't want to know. The person doesn't seem to even feel him, it's like he's not actually there, not even worthy of a glance.

A giggle crawls out his throat, it's funny, it's hilarious how much he dies at a certain level. He watches the person play the game all night long, whispering how to pass it, shortcuts, everything.

_You're doing great, Marvin._


	5. Fragment 7

It's a very busy day in the city, as expected of an ordinary Tuesday. The bustling crowd always made him uncomfortable though, it sends him small shivers of anxiety. He grips his mother's hand tighter, a small warmth that travels through his skin, a mother's protection.

Her fingers wrap around his smaller hand softly, he can feel her gaze at him, making him safe with her. He doesn't really understand why she's not living with him and his father anymore other than 'divorce' which he doesn't fully understand. Just that she's not allowed to live with them anymore.

His expression turns slightly sullen. He'd rather live with his mother than his father. She's nicer and warmer. She's not scary at all.

But he feels bad for his father also. He seems sadder, he doesn't know what to do to cheer him up. Mother always said that it wasn't his job to do so, and he wonders if it isn't him, then who would? He just seems lonelier. And well, Benjamin doesn't like it when he's down. Maybe he should ask him to take them fishing when he's home.

It would be nice, celebrating his birthday like they use to. His mother would pack a picnic while he and his father would go fishing, they'd eat the biggest fish they caught. He'd love for something like that again.

A small smile blooms on his face, he really is looking forward to today. They're going to eat outside and celebrate his birthday there. Unfortunately, his father refused to come, but it's alright since he has his mother beside him.


	6. Fragment 13

He was unable to forget the little light that extended towards him. It’s like a reed, a grass, a twig, the root of a tree. It floats at the surface of the water, mocking him to desperately grab it. For him who was drowning at the bottom of the river, he had no choice but to cling and rely on it. Even if, despite seizing it, it didn’t mean he could get his head above the water.

After all, it wasn’t like he had received something that would pull him up. Still, he couldn’t help but clutch on something. Maybe it’s not that he wanted to be saved, but the awful pressurizing of sinking alone.

There’s nothing else he can do other than holding on to it, even if the current is blowing him away, making him drink the water down, it’s the fear of being dragged by it that keeps him holding on to this hope, and it’s not something that would be guaranteed either.

So he waits here, for who knows how long, he doesn’t know, he doesn’t really remember either. It’s like a scratched-out DVD that was still able to play, it’s not showing the whole picture. Snips of still images pass his eyes as though moments that he was supposed to know. He doesn’t remember seeing any of them.

All of this is confusing, he doesn’t understand any of it, he’s scared, what is he supposed to do?

As the body slowly rots, the cartridge drags Benjamin away from his resting place. The current washing it ashore, being found by a curious teenager who brought it home.


	7. Fragment 41

Why he has come to this place, he has no clue. A sudden bout of nostalgia has moved him and as time blurred he was suddenly teleported to this place in a sense. It's a cool day, with the wind flowing through his hair, and the quiet serene ringing of his ear fills him with a bout of melancholy feeling.

He hasn't been to this place since he has started absorbing him, Jason, and he feels sad. A feeling that he cannot put a finger on. Why does he feel sad? Seemingly, it's an answer even he himself cannot say. What he has in his throat is stopped and got choked down by an unrelenting force.

This isn't him. But who is he, in the first place? It left him confused and unsettled. He hasn't felt like this before, why now, of all times. Maybe that near-death left him off-putting, can't believe that there are casually two murderers in the woods near the place he lives.

He sighs and took a stroll near the abandoned railroad, debris and trash scattered around the place, and takes a seat inside his old beaten-up car.

Meeting Lemonade, Georgia, again has been setting off something inside his mind that he can't really make out of.

His chest tightens slightly, feeling something foreign, it's warm. It's suffocating. But it feels nice, she actually cares about them, them?

Confusion has been plaguing his mind for a while, he needs to remind himself, everything that he has right now isn't his. It's Jason's. But then who is he? He feels like Jason, but he doesn't feel like Jason at the same time.

He can't help it. He knows. No, he doesn't. But what does he know about that?


	8. Fragment 37

What other plans he had tonight seems to be thrown straight out of the window. He has been, to put it politely, 'Invited' to come with them to some creepy woods near the outskirts of town. And the worst part is that he can't say no. They know where he lives, where his hiding spots are, and some leverage against him.

It's annoying. It's very much irritating. They just wouldn't leave him alone, everything that he does just to go against them or straight up avoid any of them is met with physical pain. He doesn't like this pain anymore. Because he now knows the term for it.

Abuse.

It sends him spiraling into this hole that he seems to can't get out of, a maelstrom of events that leaves him choking and drowning in it. So he resigned and try to make the best out of it. He made sure he's in a place where they can't hit him, somewhere with eyes.

He thinks back to his time with Vicsen and left seething on how he didn't figure out and tell on them before. It might be because Vicsen himself didn't know about it. He can't do much about it now. He can't forgive them for killing him though, incidentally or not.

Jason, however, knows much much more about many things, he guesses being sixteen requires that kind of self-awareness. But then, why didn't he do anything against it? What did Jason do to deserve this before he comes into his life?

Sighing to himself as he grabs the two flashlights he prepared and his phone, he then sneaks out of his house in the dead of night.


	9. Fragment ?̴̛͉͍̤͉̯͒̈̓̋̇̿͘͠͡ͅ?̶̢̢̛͔͂̎̾̋͊̔̉̃̄͟ͅ?̪̩͍̪̳̜̬͚̯͆̈́̊͐͞

He can't breathe, it's too much, too fucking much. He chokes on his breath as he doubles over again, laughing his ass out. Lemonade is covered in soot after standing way too close in their homemade very much illegal bombs.

Look, why waste an opportunity like this, there's a lot of junk just begging to be used in the outskirts and junkyard. Why people threw away still usable circuits he will never know.

Grinning at his companion, Benjamin, Jason, stumbles over to his, their, companion. Still wheezing out from how ridiculous she looks. She grins back at him and ruffles his hair. He doesn't wish for this to end, it's nice, it's suffocating, it's safe.

He hands her his bomb this time, checking it over to make sure it doesn't blow prematurely and nods his head as a confirmation.

The evening is full of the sound of shit blowing up and the laughter of two very happy idiots.

How amusing.


	10. Fragment 44

Ben looks out the window from his room. It's been a few days since he gained consciousness, and Lemonade visited him sometimes after he woke up.

He sighs and slumps on the bed, beeping noises is the only thing that his ears can hear, other than the slight ringing, he's slowly recovering, hopefully.

Unfortunately, his head feels like it's gonna fucking split and release the apocalypse then and there, it sucks, and well, he can't really see through his left eye anymore, it's just, well, no.

He knows that he's not really comprehending things fully, having been given anesthesia prior, everything is woozy, especially the light above him. It is literally killing his other eyesight. At least that's what it feels like. And everything feels heavy to do, moving his head, even talking, it goes out as more of a slur instead of actual words.

He looks around the room nonchalantly, not really comprehending his environment right now, or even aware that the hood bastard is right outside his window at this moment.

He's indeed very very good at ignoring things, even when it endangers his life.

He probably said something as the black-ish kitchen rag looms over him, putting something heavy on his face. He quickly shook his head. If they want to take him at least he can tell him to bring his stuff with him.

He giggles as the hand adjusted the rag? Towel, back and he quickly loses his consciousness.


	11. Fragment 9

They've been shouting a lot lately, he realizes. The ever-growing dread is pressuring him. It makes it hard to breathe. Sometimes, he wonders if he is breathing at all. He lays there on his bed, watching the vehicles pass by the street in front of his house. His room isn't big, per se, but it isn't small by any means. Everything is an organized mess, he doesn't bother fully cleaning it. It'll be a mess again shortly thereafter anyways.

He feels numb. These days, he couldn't really bother himself to do anything recently. It just tires him day by day. And he knows that it worries his mother, he can't help it. He tries to hide it, so it doesn't make her upset, but she knows. He doesn't know how, but she knows.

Father, however, took to himself to be distant, he realizes after a while. He doesn't feel warm anymore, it's slightly scary when he suddenly yelled at him, but Benjamin still loves him. He's his father, so of course, he loves him.

He is slightly giddy, though. It's going to be his 11th birthday in a few weeks, and he's excited, maybe he can ask if his cousins are allowed to come to his party if there is even one. A tiny sigh escapes his lips as he curls more and more into the sheets.

It's fine, he's happy if there's mother and father there, even if there is no party, even if there is no cake. He's a big boy, it's not something he needs any more, right?

Right?


End file.
